


stained glass variation of the truth

by ikuzonos



Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, NDRV3 Spoilers, Post-Canon, himiko's there for like 30 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11679882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: [Major Endgame NDRV3 Spoilers]Three months after the end, Saihara and Kaede go for a walk.





	stained glass variation of the truth

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to soniagiris for beta reading!

His bedroom smells like garbage.

Likely because there is a three foot stack of trash and rotting food in the corner of his room that he can’t be bothered to deal with. Saihara rarely leaves his room nowadays. He just can’t make himself. 

Every day for the past week, he’s stayed up past four in the morning. If he tries to sleep, he can only lay face up in bed, counting the fan cycles before his vision blurs and he forgets. Staying up playing mindless games on his phone until he passes out is fine.

It’s all fine.

It’s been three months and this is the only way he can stop himself from having nightmares.

The others don’t say anything to him about it - and how could they? - they just let him be. Being the three survivors of the final season of  _ Dangan Ronpa _ wears on them every day of their miserable lives. 

Saihara isolates. Kaede pretends. Yumeno distracts. It’s all they can do anymore. If they can act okay, then maybe they’ll  _ be okay, _ but Saihara can’t act.

He was never a good liar. Ouma made that much clear to him.

Saihara rolls onto his side, looking at the tightly closed door. He can do it, he can get up and face the day, or as much of the day as he can reach from the confines of the shared apartment.

Placing his hand on his bedside table for support, he sits up. Then he swings one leg off the bed, then the other. His toes stroke the musty carpet, lightly irritating the skin.

And then he stands. He stands up and he doesn't cry, but there is a moment when everything flashes white and he has to stop in the middle of the garbage ridden room to catch himself.

He wants to scream, just a little bit, but his throat is too torn from nights and nights of crying into his pillow.

With shaky steps, Saihara reaches the door. His hand rests on the freezing cold knob for a moment, until he clenches his teeth and twists it.

Even the hallway smells better than his room does, though it's right by the stack of garbage. Saihara wonders how many days he's spent in there, because he doesn't remember there being a framed picture of a flamingo doused in glitter glue hanging on the wall before.

At the bottom of the picture is Yumeno’s signature. His lips curl up into what could be a smile, if you squinted.

Saihara makes his way down the hall and into the kitchen. Kaede stands at the counter, quietly chopping an apple. She seems intently focused.

“Morning, Akamatsu-san,” he gets out before he starts to cough.

Kaede purses her lips, then says, “Good morning. It’s nice to actually see you.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear, “S-Sorry. I haven’t been doing my best lately.”

“Are any of us?” Kaede replies sharply, returning to cutting her apple.

Saihara supposes that she’s right. He glances around the apartment, eyes settling on the crisp, silent television. Usually, it’s on and displaying some bright cartoon. Yumeno likes to watch them, especially after she has a nightmare.

“Where’s Yumeno-san?” he asks, looking back over at Kaede, “Is she still asleep, or something?”

Kaede shakes her head, “She went down to the craft store this morning. We’re out of sequins again. Or something sparkly like that. I can’t keep track.”

Saihara says softly, “You sound really tired. Is everything okay?”

Kaede picks up a slice of the apple and takes a bite before responding, “It was a long night. I’ll be fine, though. It’s not like I haven’t had that nightmare before.”

Ah. Saihara nods silently, taking a deep breath. They’ve all been there, been the one waking up at three in the morning, screaming so loud that the neighbours banged on the wall. It’s been a long few months since they were allowed to go free.

Of course, freedom is an illusion. There’s still strangers on the street who recognize them, who ask for autographs because there’s still people desperate for contact with the final three survivors.

He approaches the counter, and reaches across, stealing a thin piece of apple from the cutting board and shoving it in his mouth before he can be stopped.

“Hey!” Kaede snaps, “That was mine!”

Saihara smiles weakly, and Kaede sighs a little too dramatically. There’s a good natured look in her eyes, amidst all the exhaustion.

Kaede sits on the counter, eating the apple, until she finishes and says, “Say… how about we get out of the apartment too? We could take a walk around town, or something. It’s getting too stuffy in here.”

Saihara swallows nervously, “I’m not sure. I’d… I’d like to, but…”

Kaede says, “I think it would be good for you. You need some colour in your skin. But if we are going to do it, you have to shower first.”

“Do I smell that bad?” Saihara asks sheepishly.

Kaede stares at him for a moment, then says, “You smell like you just went dumpster diving.”

Saihara’s face flushes.

Kaede leaps off the counter and adds, “If you shower, I’ll take care of the landfill that’s built up in your room, okay? And maybe spray some Febreeze in there too.”

“O-Okay,” Saihara says, wishing he still had his hat to fiddle with. He sometimes thinks that getting rid of it was a bad idea. He mumbles, “Thanks, Akamatsu-san.”

Kaede pauses, something flickering in her eyes, then says, “It’s fine.”

She leaves for the hell that is his bedroom, and after a moment, Saihara cautiously walks towards the small, rickety bathroom.

-

Clean and fresh, Saihara heads downtown with Kaede. They take their time, stopping at a few stores here and there. It’s simple to spend money now. Before, Saihara had to count every penny, but now he has enough for the rest of his damn life.

Kaede examines stationary, eventually choosing to buy a red and black set. Saihara isn’t sure why she wants it so badly, since she has nobody to write to, but says nothing.

Saihara hovers in the aisles of books, bitterly gazing up at the mysteries that he’s too scared to read now. Every time he cracks open a novel, he’s flooded with memories that he doesn’t want, and forces himself to put the book back. He doesn’t end up buying anything.

They check out a clothing store, only to discover merchandise with their own faces on it and run out.

Against Kaede’s call, they enter a pet shop. The old lady running the store lets them hold the kittens, and Saihara practically starts begging for a little black and white one with bright, inquisitive eyes. (“We can’t bring a cat back to the apartment. The landlord would kill us.” “He’s such a sweetheart though, and it would make Yumeno-san really happy.” “Saihara, we  _ can’t _ .”)

They don’t leave the store with the kitten, but Saihara promises that they’ll be back for him another day. Kaede only rolls her eyes, muttering something about hollow promises.

As they stroll quietly through the streets, Saihara slips his hand into Kaede’s. She tenses at first, almost stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, but then interlaces their fingers silently. She seems distracted by something, so much that she looks distressed, but there’s a certain gleam in her eyes that tells Saihara not to ask her about it.

Kaede has a lot of these days. Days where the intense feelings she has towards  _ Dangan Ronpa _ bubble up inside her so much that she boils over, and it pours out in violent streams of anger. After destroying a good measure of their apartment, she always apologizes to Saihara and Yumeno, and cooks them dinner to make up for it.

Not that she’s a very good chef, but any night that they don’t order from one of three takeout places is a good night for them. None of them like talking on the phone.

“Why don’t we stop in the park?” Kaede points across the street to a where a small tree lined path begins. As far as Saihara can remember, it leads to a small playground. Yumeno likes playgrounds. Maybe they should take her there someday.

They cross the street quickly, running so that they don’t hold up any more cars than they need to, and slowing down at the soft dirt path. They walk in silence for some time, still linked together closely, occasionally pointing out a bird or a nice flower.

About an hour into the trail, Saihara spots a metal bench off to the side. Without either of them saying anything, they navigate towards it and sit down. He doesn’t realize until he feels relief that his legs had gone numb from all the walking.

Kaede says, “I brought lunch, if you’re hungry.”

Saihara replies, “You really think of everything, don’t you?”

“I try to,” Kaede mutters, reaching into her jacket pocket and passing him a sandwich covered in plastic cling wrap, “Enjoy.”

Saihara eats quickly, Kaede slower. She’s made his favourite, cheese and tomatoes with fresh herbs. Some of it falls out and lands on the plastic in his lap, but he doesn’t mind. It’s nice. Maybe this will be a good day after all.

“Thanks, Akamatsu-san,” he says, smiling at her.

Kaede runs a hand through her long - so long, how she takes care of it Saihara has no clue - hair, and murmurs, “Why do you do that?”

Saihara pauses, then says, “Do what?”

Kaede replies, “You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve been doing it for ages… and I can’t deal with it. I… I can’t do ‘this.’”

She points to their interlocked fingers, seconds before she pulls away her hand.

Saihara blinks, “What are you saying? I don’t understand where you’re coming from, Akamatsu-san. If you could just-”

“That!” Kaede exclaims, getting to her feet and taking a few steps away from him, rubbing her temples, “I can’t fucking take it anymore. You’re out of your goddamn mind, Saihara!”

Saihara gets to his feet, the remains of his sandwich hitting the ground, “It’s okay to be upset, really, but you’re scaring me a bit. Can I do anything for you?”

She throws a pebble at him. It smacks into his shoulder, stinging a little bit. Kaede shouts, “I’m  _ sick _ of being your support beam! Never  _ once _ have you asked how I felt about any of this. You just shoved all your emotional baggage onto me, and it’s  _ killing _ me!”

“A-Akamatsu-san, plea-”

“ _ Stop!” _ Kaede shrieks, tears pricking in her eyes as she chokes out, “Do you honestly believe that I’m the girl you fell head over heels in love with like a stupid fucking teenager?! Do you?!”

Saihara stares blankly, his mouth hanging open just a little bit.

Tears stream down Kaede’s face, making her voice distort, “I’m a person too. It took me so long to figure that out, but I am my own, real person, and I don’t want to be a caricature stemming from your feeble imagination.”

“I’m… I’m so-”

“How could you feel,” she interrupts him, “if I started calling you Momota?”

Saihara does a double take, “H-Huh?”

“Shuuichi Saihara, you look me in the eyes and tell me that you could handle that,” she says, a expressing a harshness that he’s never felt before, “Look me in the  _ eyes, _ Saihara.”

And he looks. And he sees pain and anger, mixing with sorrow and stress. He looks, and her eyes water again, more silent tears dripping out of her scarlet eyes. He doesn’t realize that he’s crying too until she blurs in front of him.

Saihara takes a nervous step forward, like a wounded animal unsure if he’s found friend or foe, and opens his arms hesitantly. When she reciprocates in kind, Saihara throws his arms around Maki Harukawa and pulls her into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Harukawa-san,” he murmurs into her ear. He hasn’t said her name in a very long time.

Harukawa replies, “I… I missed you. You stupid motherfucker, I missed having the real you around, not the one who was living in some idyllic saccharine fantasy. Maybe I don’t act like it sometimes, and for that, I’m sorry, but you’re still my friend, damn it.”

Saihara says, “You’re my friend too. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, especially without your consent. I… I just… It was too much all at once, and I was selfish.”

“I forgive you,” she says, “I might have done the same thing, if you hadn’t started first.”

Saihara laughs bitterly. The air smells like dirt and foliage, and he can feel every fibre in Harukawa’s coat. It’s real, she’s real, and she won’t leave him.

(Kaede Akamatsu is buried six feet under the ground in a cemetery across town, and he’s known this for months. He’ll never see her smile again, never have another conversation with her, and this is the world he has to live in.)

Harukawa pulls away from him and wipes her eyes, “Do you want to go see if Yumeno is still at the craft store?”

"Sure,” Saihara says, “I’d love to.”

-

When they arrive at the store, Yumeno is comparing glitter packets, when she sees them and squeals. She greets Saihara with a tight hug, and then Harukawa with a light kiss. Then she begins chattering about all the things she found.

Harukawa listens intently, offering her opinions on each item, while Saihara stands a foot away and watches them with a smile.

Maybe it’s better like this.


End file.
